My life is beyond confusing. I seek out sexual "events" constantly. Mostly with strangers. It's like a power trip with me. I " lure" these men in by being willing to do things that they not been able to experience before. At first the entire experience thrills me. That sense of control. It is truly an obsession. these men are not always strangers but I do always push their boundaries. Make then try new things. I always get the same response that I awaken something in them they didn't know was there. Then when I'm done, I'm done with them. No matter the situation I just move on. I'm told I have a sexual aura about me. That I "flirt" when not intending to. That I should have been born s man because of my sexual aggression. But when it's all said and done there is just an emptiness that feels like it can only be filled if I repeat the process all over again. The process of using my sexuality of dominating and using a man. I always make my intentions of these "events" clear. To be filled in as to why this is messing up my life... no-one would ever guess I'm this way. I'm married have been for many many years. My social group would be utterly shocked and in disbelief to know if this vane to life. I'm a mother and highly respected in a field where this could cost me my job. And I'm a multiple rape survivor. None of this makes sense and its ruining my life but I can't stop. ANY thoughts?