As luckydoc suggested,seeking help will work. But I noticed you live in the Philippines, I’m not sure if they have emergency help lines that you can call like in the USA.

I didn't believe in what people say "Reach out to someone", for a long time. But experience has taught me that it is true, because generally people are nice by their basic nature. Even a casual friend is more likely than not to go out of their way to help you. We all know pain, and most of us, realize that helping someone else deal with their pain, will help them deal with whatever pain they are dealing with, and make them stronger so they can better deal with any pain they might encounter in the future.

I used to carry around a razor blade so that when things got bad I always had the option of ending my live close at hand, it was very hard for me give that safety net up. Suicide cannot be undone and we can’t try to make amends to those we have hurt.

I used to date a girl and she broke up with me and moved in with a JERK who got in trouble with the law (drugs) and was on his way to jail. He decided to kill himself, so he placed a chair so that he would be the first thing my ex-girlfriend (they were living together) saw when she came home. It would be he sitting there with his brains splattered all over the walls and ceiling.

I never talked to her about this, she moved out of town shortly after this happened, but I pray that she wasn’t the one that had to clean up he mess, but somebody did. One of the things that has kept me from killing myself was that I didn’t want to do something as cruel as making someone clean up the mess which my self destruction would cause.

It might seem like you don’t have any friends but there are people who do care about you, and it isn’t fair to make someone else clean up your mess.

Hope is out there, if you can just believe that hope exists, that is the first step to finding it

I would stronly advise you to start taking a fish oil supplement every day. Research shows that Omega-3 fats (particularly EPA) can positively influence mood, including symptoms related to depression. Here's a great company to look into:

www.genuinehealth.com

Look for their product Omega3+joy. It's all-natural and clinically proven. I take it myself and definitely feel better. Be well!